Christmas…

 

Christmas is suppose to be a time of joy. A time of family. A time of getting everything ready for the good times and creating cherished memories. What if those good times never happen?

While you are busy thinking of gifts you have to buy or gathering food for the big event there are people like me with nothing or no one. I don’t mean that I am destitute. I like many do not celebrate Christmas. The simple fact is that there is no one to celebrate with. There won’t be a gathering about a Christmas tree with presents under nor a table laden with food. In fact there won’t be a gathering of any type. To be honest there isn’t a tree. I am surrounded by bare walls. No decorations. No one to wish Merry Christmas too except for the checkout person at the supermarket.

People tell me their plans of gathering family from the corners of the globe or from just around the neighbourhood. I do want to be happy for you and I hope that my face doesn’t give away what is happening in my heart and soul as I listen.

I have no family to gather with. No loved ones. Occasionally, someone might say ‘oh if you aren’t doing anything why don’t you come around for lunch?’. Sure crashing someone else’s family day is my idea fun – NOT. The idea of going to one of those charity free lunch for the poor and lonely just makes me cringe.

When you reach under your beautifully decorated tree with the angel or star on top to hand a neatly wrapped present to a loved one please remember that there are some that aren’t that fortunate. As you hand them the present just hug them first and thank God he has blessed you in ways that I have not been. As you see the joy in them for the gift you lovingly purchased or made and a tear runs down your cheek there will be tears in my eyes but from the ache of loneliness.

I face a day of being alone. Eating weet-bix for lunch or maybe a piece of toast with a cup of coffee. In an empty house.

My morning shall be busy because I will be on radio from 6 until 10am playing Christmas music, speaking of the joy of Christmas. All while my soul aches. All while my life is empty. I have my service dog, Buddy, who will be by my side and  he is a constant joy. So the day will not be a complete waist or a desert of unhappiness.

Please don’t complain to me of the hassle of gift shopping or the crowds at the shopping centres. I know that family can be stressful but I am not the one to tell that it is all such a pain to organise your family so you can all be together on the day. Enjoy your family because you don’t know if they will all be on the planet next year. Enjoy the gift buying but enjoy the love you have more. Some of us do not have this.  I don’t have this.

I just want you to be aware of the fact that the things you might complain about with Christmas are the same things I long for.

This year there will be no laughter, no gifts to unwrap nor to give away, no one to pop the Christmas cracker with, no one to share a meal, no one… no one.

But say a prayer and pray for the other ones
At Christmas time, it’s hard but while you’re having fun
There’s a world outside your window, and it’s a world of dread and fear
Where a kiss of love can kill you, and there’s death in every tear
And the Christmas bells that ring there are the clanging chimes of doom

An exert from “Do They Know It’s Christmas”

 

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